52 weeks

As we cracked open the spine to our new calendar this year, I thought a lot about what I want out of those 52 weeks. If I were to ask my husband, as I always do at this point in a new year, his answer would be what it always is, "I want more of the same."
But what could better? I ask.
My husband is a man of few desires and our lives are as near to perfect as he believes in, but I'm a stretcher and I'd like more. Not to confuse that with being less than satisfied with what we have.
Which he would do. Its a Mars vs Venus thing, really.
But what do I want out of those 52 weeks?
1. My biggest desire has been what I have been calling the great MTD 2013 project. Otherwise known as Mama's Total Domination. I want to get our house running more smoothly and have our rooms thoroughly organized and all the items itemized and documented in my My Things app on my iPad.
2. As a sub-project of the MTD project, I want to unify our household responsibility "program" for the kids. I know Elizabeth is just one, so it really isn't meant for her just yet (though behavioral programs will start soon, I'm sure!). I want our expectations of the kids' role in household help to be clear and I want to raise kids who *want* to help with family needs. I have been working on this with some great ideas that I had, and some from my pinboards. I'll definitely be sharing that...
3. As another sub-project, I want to complete the household binder move to iPad apps and USE them.
4. I want to read God's word more. I am currently doing two studies, one on the Fruits of the Spirit and one on Proverbs 31. I figured those were good places to start. Both of those are on my iPad, as kindle books, and that makes it easy for me to switch back and forth from there and my GLO , which I adore!
5. As a sub-project of the God's word project, I want to memorize 52 verses this year. In order to accomplish this, I have two things: One of these scripture cuffs to slide my weekly verse in and wear to memorize and this site http://52weeks52verses.blogspot.com/  to inspire my journey. Also, at Kirklands the other day I bought a little shadow box that says prayers and you can slip your prayers into it. I thought that I'd write a prayer specific to my life and related to the verse on each of the slips of paper after I've memorized the verse and then put it in that shadow box to keep.
6. I want to continue to celebrate everything and anything, but this year, I'd like to grow in hospitality and invite more than just my family. I am always so nervous about opening my home and entertaining others because I'm not perfect and my home is not perfect, something I really have to get over and just enjoy being with friends!
7. I want to blog more--at least a goal of 52 posts. I used to blog a lot more before my facebook habit kicked in (and before I went back to graduate school) Now I don't really have a permanent record of all the really fun times we have under our roof. So I plan to blog at least once a week.
8. I want to "happy up my family room with more yellow! and polka dots!"
9. I want to put in a closet under our stairs for storage of the vacuum cleaner, steam cleaner and floor mate and probably gift wrap.
10. I want to walk more.

There are two things I am hoping to blog about soon. The first is our new Chore System, etc. and the other is my household binder via iPad.

Fertilizer Friday

(click to read full story) Over at Tootsie Time folks are sharing the beauty in their gardens. Well, ours aren't nearly as beautiful as some of those, but still  I am enjoying looking out our windows or sitting in my swing on the porch and enjoying what is blooming right now, so I thought I'd share ours.

 Mexican primrose is starting to bloom. I love these flowers in the Spring. We transplanted them from the old house

 Ivy, snapdragon, salvia, primrose and a hydrangea that has decided it might want to live. The roses in this garden should be blooming soon.

 Cut flowers, but still, they're so pretty!

Geraniums. I can see four pots of these from the kitchen and love that view

 California poppies. These are a wildflower here, but this is our first year having them in the yard.They're next to a sweetbroom that has given up.

 Irises should be blooming soon. The front irises have already been and gone.

 Wallflower... my all time desert favorite blooms beautifully all summer.

 The orchid rock rose has buds on it! it didn't bloom last year.

 Our new knock out rose

 I love this combination

The orchid rock rose bloomed this morning! It is so beautiful. 

Mine

When I was pregnant with Elizabeth, I would often joke to my husband that THIS baby would be "mine." I made all kinds of comments through the months about "finally having one on my team." Its not that Liam doesn't love me, of course, but he has a closer kinship with his father. They understand each other in a special way. Their personalities are the same; they are both contemplative, quiet, reserved, very intelligent and yet uncomfortable around others. Liam usually prefers his father and this has been hard for me over the years. That is not to say that he doesn't snuggle with mama, and when he is sick or scared I'm definitely his first choice, but those other days? He's daddy's boy all the way.
Well, you know that saying, "you reap what you sew?" Boy do I now! Elizabeth is mama's girl, so much so that if I am in the house, she wants me and me only. And she will scream until I take her and then, as fast as it takes her little hands to clamp ahold of me, the crying and screaming stops. We have been lucky in that, even though we are both working parents, we have been able to structure our lives so that one or the other of us is at home with our children all the time. Occasionally, though, we need babysitters... like this last Friday when I went to Bunco and my husband was away at work.
My poor parents! When they sit, she screams and screams. I feel awful. I know it is just a phase, but I also imagine that it feels terrible. They love her so much; they prayed as much as we did for her to come to our family and has to hurt to be rejected like that, even though we all understand what is going on. It has also been a big stressor for me.
I have been breastfeeding and baby wearing since the beginning, although she's been on formula for the hours when I'm at work since I came back to work at 12 weeks. Still, she is attached. But this weekend we had some progresses:

• my mom babysat and though she (Elizabeth, not my mom) cried for the first hour and a half, she slept some and when she awoke, my mom was able to soothe her somewhat
• That same evening she began real crawling for the first time! She had been scooting and rolling to get places, even though she was ten months on Friday, she had yet to really begin to crawl, but in her effort to see if they'd hidden me away somewhere, she crawled to try and find me. Since then she's been crawling every day. That story kind of reminds me of that old tale about a child who didn't start speaking until three because he hadn't had anything to say until then...
• I have gotten her to sleep in the co-sleeper two nights in a row. We have been bed sharing and I love that, but I have developed bursitis in my hips from sleeping on my side curled around her and my hips need some rest.

These things are a big deal, and while they are welcome changes, they are tinged with sadness for me. She is almost a year old... babyhood is slipping by and I know all to well how precious babyhood is. There will come a day when she can no longer curl into me such that we are almost one.

Finally, Four.

A place holder for now

I intend to start blogging again. I'm going to have to make an appointment in my calendar to do it, but I will.
For now, I'll post a picture of my sweet children who adore each other. They are keeping me busy, but oh how thankful I am! My cup runneth over.

This was in Las Vegas. We went to Death Valley to hike over spring break and then on to Las Vegas to see the lights, eat a lot, and spend lots of time together.

Myrtle

We've all heard the story about Martha and Mary in the Bible, and most women are usually able to tell immediately if they are a Mary or a Martha. I see references to it quite often, especially in blogs or books on home-keeping, which I seem obsessed with these days. Of course things like that, like the decorating blogs that I'm obsessed with (along with the iconification of Martha Stewart), have created a whole new layer of meaning to that Martha thing...
Not only do we feel pressured to get the work all done (Proverbs woman, anyone?) but to do it with beauty.
Now don't get me wrong, I loves me some beauty. That's the fun stuff. And, when I think about it sometimes I enjoy the work parts of home-keeping, too. But in truth, I don't do as much of it as I should and I'm starting to feel like my home and my ability to love through a welcoming home others is suffering for it.
So am I the Mary, nestled in at Jesus' feet, taking in the moment?
Yeah, not so much.
I mean, oftimes these days I am immersed in holding a baby, nestling her up against my neck and just breathing her in. She's getting a little wiggly for that, though. And yes, I'm looking at all my boy's school work and hearing as much as he will tell me about his day... all of "it was good" is what I'm able to get out of him. But this problem is much more deep seated than that.It existed long before I had babies to snuggle with after work. I'm just doing too much "othering" ...I keep finding other things to do (like make pasta from scratch while the piles climb up my staircase).
I'm not a Martha or a Mary...
I guess I'm a Myrtle.
I can have perfectly organized closets, but piles of stuff in the public rooms. I can clean up last minute  to serve a beautiful dinner on a well-turned-out table to those whom I love, but have had my keys (and a box of 500 prints I recently ordered from snapfish) turn up missing.There is no consistency.
I dream of a well-ordered home and life, and I know I have littles at home with me, but the problem is not just that Liam is like a slug that leaves a slimy toy trail behind him as he goes (yes, out of the playroom, through the Loft, down the stairs, into the family room...I've even found little characters wedged between the slats on the banister!)
The problem is with me, and digging deep down and finding the Martha, and kicking her into gear so that I can be more of a Mary.
Because I want to use my home to love people and to welcome them. I want to have a chat with people over informal cups of coffee whenever the doorbell might ring.
Mostly I have to re-view how I look at the work part of it all. On my Goodreads list of books to read is
Keeping House: The Litany of Every Day Life.  I also, long ago, downloaded 31 Days to Clean right after Sarah published it (man, do I love her blog!) I'm hoping that reading those books, and truly focusing on loving my home will help me move away from being the weird Myrtle into some kind of Martha/Mary combo that works to serve and to love.

Elizabeth pictures

I'm working on another post trying to actually say something, but until then, here are some beautiful pictures of my two babies.

 This is my favorite of her "birthday" pictures. She does not look happy at all. I don't know if it was being pulled out of her warm home into the unknown world or what, but she was not having it. She came out mad. I remember hearing the nurses saying "ok, ok we get it. You're mad" when they were cleaning her up just seconds after she was born. She didn't stop all the hollering for quite some time. She's opinionated, this one.

The hospital was so kind to make Liam's tag say Big Brother. I have never seen a child so excited about a sibling. He was so gentle and kind and above all things, proud to be a big brother. I will never forget when we brought her home, and, in fact, I have a picture that I should post of this very story. We pulled up and Liam was at home with my parents and they had decorated the door and were waiting for us to arrive. Liam came running out and was literally jumping for joy. I have a picture where he is just one giant blur. When we got her inside and put her in her pack n play to rest, he instantly ran to get his camera and take pictures of her and then while she was in the swing, sat and watched her for hours.

 

It is amazing having a pair of siblings. Elizabeth has recognized her brother's voice from the beginning, but these days he can hold her attention like no other. In fact, one night she was sitting on the floor in her bumbo and he was making raspberry noises on his arm and she was full-belly laughing for over 20 minutes. None of us has been able to replicate this same contagious laughter. It is something she reserves for her brother only.

2012 will be a Happy New Year, indeed.